Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.
Currently, from the sections of book I read, in order to influence people and win more friends:
- Stop criticizing people’s fault, not only this way will hurt people and keep you from going inside the person, but it’s also not as effective as we expected them to be, since people will always choose their own way to defend for themselves.
- Start praising people’s strength and advantages sincerely since all people would like to be considered as important and valuable to some extent, everyone cares about themselves most because of human nature.
- Think from other people’s viewpoint, not focus on your own benefits or things all the time. You can do a win-win thing by thinking in others’ side, to fulfill others’ need and then your own purpose will be achieved and you will also be liked. Not ‘I, I, I… all the time.
- Become interested in other people or other things first before letting other people become interested in you.
- A sincerely smile worth a million. Even a fake smile on purpose can change your inner feeling which can seldom be modified in a direct way by will. However, fake smile can be identified easily, so truly cultivate interests on the surrounding things and then generate a sincerely smile towards others which can bring more friends and wealth finally.
The several other methods to win friends and influence people from the book are to be continued…
From <How to win friends and influence people> by Dale Carnegie.
Chen Liang 