2017年12月26日做了人生中的第一个手术：植发手术。这一年来其实受到了很严重的脱发困扰，本身头质就不好，早些年的时候是厚重的头油加头皮屑，现如今来了美国四年多后就整整脱了四年的头发。手机上这过去几年的老照片，几乎三分之一是自拍有关头发的照片，虽说之前不太在意，但多少影响了形象和自信，对于26岁的我来说，职场婚恋都会受到一定的影响，所以这次回国下定决心做了这个植发手术。

回国之前就在网上做了很多相关的研究，文字视频看了一堆，但真落到实践还是有着许多意想不到的事情。1. 全程的时长将近12个小时 2. 麻药打了几十针，针针都会在头顶钻来钻去疼痛无比 3. 由于脱发面积过大，并没有能够把裸露的地方完全盖住 4. 术后恢复的过程比想象的艰难，不但头几天为了不碰到种植区彻夜难眠，还间歇伴有低烧令我很是头疼。但想想毕竟是手术，在头顶做了8个小时的大工程，为了向一劳永逸的改变形象，以后能够撑得起多种发型，这点小苦挺挺就过去了。随着最近对着装时尚的研究，自己也开始慢慢注意仪表，在摆脱直男癌的路上渐渐走远，这其中发型对男士形象的重要性也是不言而喻。都说外表和内心是相辅相成的，一个良好的外在给人以自信，给人以心灵上的抚慰，一个健康积极强大的内心也同样会使人积极阳光无时无刻不映射到一个人的外在上。

伴着东北寒冷的冬天和萧条的经济，我也趁着年末回到家乡植发休养。在20多岁的日子里，人们总是有着无尽的憧憬和幻想，但又总是一次又一次屈服于残酷的现实。2017年里未能找到知己，未能融入到暖心的集体，未能换一份更满意的工作，也许从结果来看真的一无所获一无是处。但是在这一路的艰难困苦中所习得的经验知识，成长过程中的收获与信念从长远看才更加珍贵吧。知道自己的不足，有了明确的方向，低调做人，不卑不亢，无论在人生路上遇到任何挫折都勇敢面对，这些是我庆幸我在这年收获的东西。做事积极主动，因为脱发更要注重早睡早起培养好习惯。在之前的几段恋情中，可能更多的都是自己的不足幼稚，错过了很多好女孩伤了很多好女孩的心。感觉自己真的过了玩耍的年龄，是时候真的投入精力找到那个适合自己做一生伴侣的真爱了。我也知道这是一段艰难的过程，而且很多因素也靠缘分不是自己能左右的，但还是要尽力而为，重在过程不在结果，就像跳槽一样，付出的终将会在未来的某一天以更大的收获结果等着你。

也在这里对新的2018年许下一些愿景：愿家人身体健康，自己活得更有趣洒脱，换一份更舒心的工作，找到那个适合自己的人好好陪伴下去。感恩身边的朋友同学，感恩家人提供的平台，我一定不会辜负家人的期望和自己的曾经的付出！

去做一个胆大心细脸皮厚的人吧

少想多做 时刻保持好心情 正能量！

早睡早起 少看星座八卦！

更加爱自己，别人才能爱你

通过培养一系列好的习惯 做一个像kobe一样自律的人！

有任何欲望的时候，多运动，多听音乐，多与人交流或者meditation来以正确的方式来缓解！

知足者常乐 时刻保持一颗感恩的心

daily habits needed to keep in 2018:

1. quit porn
2. morning routine + exercise
3. think less and do more
4. reading
5. keep noting the concrete goals

今年2017年，自己生于1991年。在这个26，7的年龄段，真的是要注定经历些什么才能成长起来。上半年纠结面试换工作，下半年继续纠结于工作学习的同时，也在进行一场漫长的暧昧关系中。真如歌里所说，暧昧让人受尽委屈。。其实自己冷静分析下来，她究竟不是适合自己的另一半，很多性格特点也让我并不喜欢，但可能这种长期的相处和半年多的空窗，再加上自己作为男人的私心，保护欲和征服欲作祟，这种暧昧不清，若即若离的感觉一直就这样盘旋着。至少目前的我只希望自己不要慢慢陷下去，感情用深，等到真正对的人出现的时候遗憾错过就好。还有就是不想破坏这种朋友同事的关系，更不想因为总纠结这种事情耽误我工作学习努力奋斗得大计。Definitely I will find a way to move on and grab the right person and bright future at the right time.

bootcamp的进度慢慢拉下了，工作方面总觉得一天的时间不够，晚上从来没能安安心心的做过自己的事情。anyway，回国后趁着白天大家上班的功夫要慢慢学起了，first capstone project至少要做完啊。希望植发顺利 签证顺利 回去多陪陪家人尤其是姥姥。

从今年起一直都是self-improvement的过程：内外兼修。外表要开始重视起来，毕竟这是敲门砖，无论是找对象还是找工作都发挥很重要的作用。不一定要多么时尚，但要得体大方干净立正，而内外永远是相通的，好好打扮整理自己也会更加自信，能把能力内在发挥的更加淋淋尽致不是吗？目前几点力所能及并打算坚持下去的外表投资有：

变白皮肤好：勤用加湿器，早晚洗脸，洗完脸后注意保湿和防晒，偶尔用面膜或者去角质液，适时补充维生素C

变壮：想吃什么吃什么，多吃甜点，两小时一吃，继续健身大业

头型：先去植发。。。然后用药物保持生长，最后根据身材脸型选择适合自己的帅帅的发型

腿变直：矫正O型腿

继续培养自己穿着品味和聊天技术

除了上述的外在投资外，内在的修行一直是我特别在意的，无论做什么事情贵在坚持啦：

多看书：看任何书，小说，金融，科技，历史，政治，心理，触类旁通

多写作总结：就像现在这样通过一周写两遍随笔（尽量一篇英文 一篇中文）的方式提高自己

提高口语： 一周跟读计划至少5次

工作能力：bootcamp + ds + ml + stats + dl + python/R

no worry to fears, step out of your comfort zone, 厚脸皮

extra plan for next year：多出去走走玩玩 多和各行各业的人交流 打交道

当然还有少不了培养自己的兴趣爱好，让自己的lifestyle丰富起来！！

 

DO it Do it！

 

It’s been a long time since I began to feel frustrated about my career change process and my loneliness in Bay Area. Somehow, I keep getting stuck in the vicious circle: more failure in interviews -> needy for relationship -> no movement and progress in relationship -> eager to prove myself from career change -> interview failure again. As a young man in his 26th, the first several years of career struggle, the loneliness he has to go through before the family life have been so hard for me. With so many workout everyday, so many self-help books/videos read or to be read, so much internal fight with myself, I could still not laugh genuinely like some other optimistic friends.

Recently I enrolled in a bootcamp called ‘springboard’ to boost my project experience/career understanding of the data science world. During the mentor call today, there is one simple mind the mentor brought out which left a deep impression on me which is supposed to be known long time ago.  One of the questions I asked is something like ‘Since I am an engineer in Oracle now, most of the work I am doing here is not related to data science at all (at least up to now), how can I bring up my data projects did in springboard? Or another common question for me is that, when asked about the experience in Oracle, how to pretend to be a data person in Oracle and seamlessly mention some data science projects I did based on my own interests and passion?’

To be honest, previously I always have this kind of confusion during interviews which either prevents me from further interview process or makes me feel less confident. However, the mentor today gives me a well-rounded answer for this problem:” Data science as a new fields, no one knows the exact definition for it, let alone the HR/Recruiters. Since I work for OAA, machine learning/R involved, as least I am a R engineer in analytics tools, it’s what some kind of data scientist do also. You are own to yourself for the data scientist title, not even mentioning your stats/quantitive background before.” I feel so confident after the several words from my mentor. If I lack certain skills set/problem solving/communication capabilities, it makes sense for me to practice and sharp my skills to become stronger. But the mind obstacle, like “it’s engineer to data science, I have to give up a lot” or “the longer I stay in engineer, the harder for me to make the career change’, these several negative mind sets should be got rid of from my brain as soon as possible. I am still not sure how come these thoughts come to my mind all the time, is it coming from my internal fear for the change? But for sure, these thoughts already keep in the way for my further progress, it’s time to make the change.

Maybe all these bad time I felt is due to the negative mind set. The mind that ‘someone will not like me that fast’, the mind that ‘I am not competent for the job’, the mind that ‘one year later all the good things are gone’, they all suck!! Life is a journey of problem solving, there will be no such a thing like no worries forever. The best you can do is to own a optimistic and open mind, keep failing/learning/growing with a big smile all the time. Then all the bad news will turn to good news, all the bad people will go out of your sight, you will be surrounded by good and nice person, until then all the good luck will accompany with you as well.

1. the link below talks about the details of reward system inside everyone’s brain from the smoking perspective (in Chinese):

https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/20314727

2. the link of the video below talk about the detriments of bad habit from the fapping perspective. Nofap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oM6wDxaXI0&index=5&list=WL

The same applies to drinking, online games, drugs and so on. Know more about the reward system and understand how to leverage the system to make good habits accompanying you all though the life and getting rid of bad habits as soon as possible.

Start from today April 6th, I will take a record of the progress of data science learning myself. Before going to bed, all the staff I learned, read, accomplished, thought are supposed to be listed there. On the one hand,  it helps me refresh the data related things I did during the day, keeping them as a record here online. On the other hand, practice writing is always one of my concerns, so it servers as a way to push me writing something each day.

Better thinking, better data understanding, better writing and better English! Although I am still not quite sure if data jobs are fit for me or not, it worth a try and my skill sets currently are quite qualifiable for this field. Sharp my analytical thinking or skills is not a bad thing anyway. Let me insist on it and pursue my dream further.

After a series interviews and preparations, the zero offer result becomes unacceptable at first, but finally it’s a known fact and reasonable outcome to me. The time spent on textbooks, blogs, companies’ research is very valuable which makes me more self-identified, clearer on the career path (which means the pure engineer path is definitely not fit for me).

The patience and attitude of never giving up are two things I learned along the way. The relationship ends, the effort put on interviews with no result never bother me any more, as long as I keep growing up and on the fast way of becoming maturer. I am thinking about trying out more positions later in my life: data scientist, product manager, consultant… It’s really existing that the goal, the dream to think big and be successful lead me a long way. When I try to recall my life in campus: middle school is studying hard for no independent thinking, college life is suffering from the boring theoretical staff and do not dare to try something different, graduate life in Stanford provides more freedom and trying to make more excellent friends and learn more useful and interesting staffs. However, the lack of independent thinking and weak background on communication/physical/language keep me growing with a lot of pain and gradually can not even enjoy the life and the happiness around me. Finally, the time I joined Oracle which is supposed to be a rather relaxed environment makes me think more about myself and get rid of previous shackles around me.

English learning requires a long process, although I have already sensed my great improvement over the time especially the reading and listening part, the level is still far from my expectation in mind to chat or communicate fluently at work. But no worry, I am still young and I am trying to go with the following rules to improve my english skills even faster (but it does not mean I have no patience on this…):

1. sing along as many as english songs as possible to practice spoken english. Here singing is both a hobby and an advantage myself
2. read more on english, watch more videos/shows on english, listen to more podcasts on english
3. talk more during the work. No as a QA engineer, less time is spent on communication, but I still need to spend longer time with indian colleagues(like Varun) to gain more idea about their life/culture and improve my spoken english at the same time. If in future, data scientist/product manager becomes my next carrer, there will be more opportunities then.
4. Keep updating blogs like this in English in this personal website more often to practice English writing.
5. Vocabulary can also be learned through daily words learning/reciting through Shanbei
6. Think in English more and let’s hang out with my dear friends: Lino, Vinod and Sup!

In the near future, I tried to make each blog more structured and I know it’s kind of in a mess of different things currently. I will do the change!

Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.

Currently, from the sections of book I read, in order to influence people and win more friends:

1. Stop criticizing people’s fault, not only this way will hurt people and keep you from going inside the person, but it’s also not as effective as we expected them to be, since people will always choose their own way to defend for themselves.
2. Start praising people’s strength and advantages sincerely since all people would like to be considered as important and valuable to some extent, everyone cares about themselves most because of human nature.
3. Think from other people’s viewpoint, not focus on your own benefits or things all the time. You can do a win-win thing by thinking in others’ side, to fulfill others’ need and then your own purpose will be achieved and you will also be liked. Not ‘I, I, I… all the time.
4. Become interested in other people or other things first before letting other people become interested in you.
5. A sincerely smile worth a million. Even a fake smile on purpose can change your inner feeling which can seldom be modified in a direct way by will. However, fake smile can be identified easily, so truly cultivate interests on the surrounding things and then generate a sincerely smile towards others which can bring more friends and wealth finally.

The several other methods to win friends and influence people from the book are to be continued…

From <How to win friends and influence people> by Dale Carnegie.

It’s a blog just created by me two days ago, however, so many bad and unexpected things happened these days making my first few blogs full of resentment. It’s not meant to be like that, hopefully, the blog will be filled with more joy and happiness some time soon.

Last night, my girlfriend came to visit me, making my broken heart yesterday a little better.I am still not in a good mood to do anything about work or interview, so worrying and regretting the wrong decisions I made back in Stanford. The reject letter from Linkedin finally came to me, the snapchat data science interview is not a little like what I expected before. A rather senior woman who has a computer science phd degree before asks me all the rather hard coding questions, no matter sql or algorithm questions. I should admit that my mind was in a mess during the interview and also really not born to be a coder like more other people in silicon valley. I do not think I have not put enough effort into this field, but just not enough passion to stick into it in future.

Really upset and disappointed about the whole interview process, I am so confident that I can at least find a decent place to work as a data scientist with some much improvement compared to the time back in campus and so much effort I made in pursuing the data related works. The true fact may be that there are more talented and more diligent people waiting for the opportunities there also.

Be humble, be foolish. Nothing makes my day during the last whole month, but I am sure the brighter days will come soon.

Go fighting.

就在刚刚, uber的hr约我五点半connect， 直到六点半才给我打电话（一万个草泥马奔过），一心欢喜的等待着一个半月苦战以来的第一个offer， 没想到听到的确实hr貌似安慰的话， 说什么data intuition很好， 但是相关经验少， a/b testing不是很fit他们的expectation。
就在下午一点， 收到了hr的邮件说找时间约我connect。 当时点开邮件是以thank you开头的， 本有一种悲剧的感觉， 但邮件正文中丝毫没有提到offer有没有， 于是好奇的问有经验的好友是什么意思， 好友恭喜我说电话是offer， 邮件才是拒信， 突然间莫名的窃喜涌上心头。于是乎， 一下午也没有正经工作， 都在忙着看有offer怎么跟hr argue， RSU和option的区别， 在想到底uber前景怎么样。
在两天前， 我上午在家边应付着老板工作上的事， 边准备下午的onsite面试。 下午两点准时到， 公司系统down了， 于是被电话请上去的。第一次印度面试官， 边打着哈气边面试我， 结束了还笑着问我公司的revenue不是metric吗， 我回答说司机的更重要， 有了司机才能有uber的未来（maybe无人车是未来）。 第二个面试官问的是我喜欢的modeling， 题目也是之前做过的exercise， 但是就在我每道题就认为回答上来并我认为还不错的时候， 他一直一脸不屑疲倦地说着每一句话。第三个是女面试官， 从头到尾一直是以culture fit的角度在面，但对我本人或者我说的东西似乎并不感兴趣， 当然自己在回答的过程中也没能够引领话题， 经常拐到了自己不熟悉的领域上（10 billion for building cash system for uber？）。 第四个面试官算是里面最nice的， 无论回答的对错 至少都是笑容相对， 并且是理解欣赏的态度。最后的小李子也终于show up， nice talking with you。尽管最后并没有像我想的那样， 但还是作为stanford校友你给予我了支持与欣赏， 谢谢！

自从加入oracle后就想跳槽了， 但后来发现做的东西还挺有意思， 新鲜感与舒适的生活驱使我安逸了很长时间， 也交了很多好朋友， 但心里始终有颗想做data的心， 时刻练习r modeling， 不想让自己忘了之前所学或被时代落下。写了很多代码， 看了很多article， 以至于到最近两个月各种准备面试从sql到stats到a/b testing到linear regression各种杂七杂八看了很多， 虽说面了多少跪了多少， 但从学知识 增长面试经验的角度还是收获颇丰的。

可能出来混迟早是要还的， 本科到研究生一直是考试至上， 学知识根本没有自己专研没有深刻理解，有时候就是为了成绩好而死记硬背，抄别人作业什么的更是数不胜数。由于本科数学系很理论，系里没有应用找实习，找工作的氛围，所以到现在resume自己看了都觉得很是单薄，可怜还有些公司能给我面试，我也很知足了。来湾区后，实习是第一个就给offer了，fulltime也是第一个就给offer了，不知道时好时坏。好的是省了很多力气找工作，而且工作也都不错，比较稳定， 不好的时同学们都在失败中积攒了很多经验，而且在一路过程中也通过准备面试夯实了基础。自己呢，混一天是一天，拿到了就自鸣得意地安逸了起来。现在的悲剧经历，各种问题在面试中的暴露可能真的是之前欠下的债。

人啊，还是要踏踏实实，脚踏实地。我始终相信付出会有收获，也在近一两年知道了自己的很多不足。被拒正常，幸运女神不偏袒我也无妨。希望自己越挫越勇，不断提高自己，到时候做一个selector 而不是现在的begger。

加油吧 人还是要有梦想的 现在还年轻 不怕失败！

从记录生活开始做起，从用于面对失败，敢于享受成功果实做起。

从克服拖延，客服完美主义做起。

相信未来的我一定会成为我努力拼搏后想成为的那种人。等着瞧吧！

Start from today March 1st, 2017, I will keep recording the life events around me by posting at least two blogs per week. I strongly believe: ” every little makes”.

After a while on wordpress settings, the personal website finally looks like a place prepared for some blogs. Recently I am really inundated by tons of materials for interview and annoying work coming from testing on various unfamiliar operating systems. Then it’s time to start going back to regular life which is supposed to be filled with exercise, reading, learning and enjoying time with people I love.

In 2017, not only exercise and reading should be kept on, writing and recording the beautiful in the whole world should also be a part of my life.

Let’s do it now!